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Dealing with Betrayal

Betrayal is a form of bereavement - Trust has died.

Thursday, October 19, 2023
4 mins

How to Come to Terms with Betrayal

Author: Jo Teque

For many Scots this is a difficult day.

The reasons have been explored in depth elsewhere so, rather than mourn, we present some practical advice.

Betrayal is a painful experience that can be difficult to overcome. It can leave us feeling hurt, angry, and confused. It can also damage our trust in others and make it difficult to move on with our lives.

If you have been betrayed, it is important to remember that you are not alone. Betrayal is a common experience, and there are many people who have been through what you are going through. There are also many things you can do to cope with the pain and anger of betrayal, and to rebuild your life.

Here are some tips on how to come to terms with betrayal:

1. Allow yourself to feel your emotions.

It is important to acknowledge and accept your feelings after being betrayed. This may include feelings of hurt, anger, sadness, and confusion. It is also important to allow yourself to grieve the loss of trust and security that you felt in the relationship.

Don't try to suppress your emotions or pretend that you're not upset. This will only make it harder to heal in the long run. Allow yourself to feel your emotions fully, and express them in a healthy way. This could involve talking to a trusted friend or family member, journaling, or seeking professional help.

2. Understand that you are not to blame.

It is important to remember that you are not to blame for the betrayal. It is the other person who made the choice to betray you. You did nothing wrong.

It is also important to remember that you cannot control the actions of others. You can only control your own reactions. So focus on healing yourself and moving on, rather than trying to figure out why the other person betrayed you.

3. Set boundaries.

If you choose to stay in the relationship with the person who betrayed you, it is important to set boundaries. This may mean limiting contact with them, or spending time with them only in public places. It is also important to be clear about what behaviors you will not tolerate.

It is also important to set boundaries with yourself. This may mean limiting your contact with other people who remind you of the betrayal, or avoiding activities that trigger negative emotions.

4. Rebuild your trust.

If you choose to try to rebuild the trust in the relationship, it will take time and effort. Both people in the relationship need to be committed to making things work.

Start by having small, honest conversations with each other. Be open about your feelings and needs. It is also important to be forgiving, but this does not mean forgetting what happened. It simply means letting go of the anger and resentment.

5. Seek professional help.

If you are struggling to cope with the betrayal on your own, it is important to seek professional help. A therapist can help you understand your emotions, develop coping mechanisms, and make decisions about your future.

Remember, you are not alone. Betrayal is a common experience, and there are many people who have been through what you are going through. There are also many things you can do to cope with the pain and anger of betrayal, and to rebuild your life.

Here are some additional tips that may help you come to terms with betrayal:

  • Give yourself time to heal. There is no set timeline for healing from betrayal. It is important to be patient with yourself and allow yourself to heal at your own pace.
  • Take care of yourself. Make sure you are eating healthy, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly. Taking care of your physical and mental health will help you heal from betrayal more quickly.
  • Connect with others. Spend time with people who love and support you. Talking to others about what you are going through can help you feel less alone.
  • Do things you enjoy. Make time for activities that make you happy and help you relax. This could involve spending time with loved ones, pursuing hobbies, or simply taking some time for yourself.

If you have been betrayed, it is important to remember that you are strong and resilient. You will get through this.

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